Balance. Simple yet complicated. Straightforward yet paradoxical. Summation yet cancellation.

A Simple Equation = Balance as a Physical State

Like most people, I participate in activities that demand physical balance: I began with crawling, standing, walking, and running, which led to more complicated endeavors: skiing, soccer, basketball, sailing, yoga; and followed by enthusiastic and less graceful attempts at kayaking, dance, windsurfing, and biking. Activities that challenge me to push the limits of balance in order to move forward and create momentum.

Brain Chemistry = Balance as an Emotional State

I am not a passive observer of life. I like to get in it and get messy. Though I am, by nature, guarded and introspective, my convictions and my ambitions render it impossible for me to not push myself towards the new and unknown. But in my personal search for balance — a search that propels me to go beyond my comfort zone and speak up and out, to extrovert my introverted self, and to be visible and impactful in a chaotic and attention-seeking world — I must incorporate additional factors to maintain relative stability. And, perhaps as a result of this compensation, I do this with the lows and highs of depression as an added variable.

Invisible Disabilities = Balance in the Physical + Emotional Realms

Following a particularly nasty stomach virus several years ago (during, mind you, the most depressing part of winter) my immune system focused its immense power, not on the virus attacking me, but on my undeserving pancreas. My poor pancreas became so disoriented, confused, and overworked that it eventually just quit. Seemingly overnight, I became a Type 1 Diabetic (T1D).

True Balance = Off-Kilter Moments of Stability in an Ever-Changing, Ever-Moving Physical and Emotional State

In sharing my own experiences of finding — and losing — my balance, I hope to draw back the curtain of invisibility that keeps so many who deal with issues like depression and auto-immune diseases hidden from view.

A scribbler and scribe scribbling scribbles